5 Ways to Bring Compassion to Your Working Life
Do you feel disconnected from your highest self at work? Do you wish you handled conflict better? Have you felt burnt out by others’ stress or emotions? Do you wish you could bring more warmth and connection into your daily life?
Practicing more compassion—for yourself and for others—may not only help in these situations but might also make you more effective at your job.
These were among the lessons learned at a recent symposium—and Fetzer Institute project—that gathered over 50 national and international leaders from the fields of conflict resolution, social justice, contemplative law, therapeutic jurisprudence, education, holistic medicine, public interest design, psychology, collaborative law, and the courts. Their focus was looking at how family lawyers could use compassion to provide better conflict resolution services to their clients, but the wisdom they shared applies to anyone working in a “helping profession” and beyond.
1. Identify and live your core values
Get present to who you really are. Think about what moves and inspires you. Decide what sacred purpose you want to manifest in your life and commit to the idea that it is possible for you to manifest the values tied to it. Start to manifest those values immediately, and organize your life in a way that supports your core values. This will build a strong base of truth and honesty. It will make you tougher and the people you work with more reassured and trusting.
2. Practice self-care
Especially if you regularly work with people in crisis and trauma, be sure to see to your own emotional and spiritual needs first. Like the mother in a plane who must place the oxygen mask on her own face before placing one on her child’s, pay first your attention to your own emotional and spiritual needs if you want to be any sort of real or reliable help to the people you work with.
3. Practice sacred mindfulness
Many stressful and emotional situations can be diffused through mindful practices focused on what is sacred to them, such as the “R.A.I.N.” approach:
- Recognize what is happening,
- Allow life to be just as it is,
- Investigate inner experience with kindness and
- Non-identification (or resting in Natural awareness).
Techniques like this strengthen your resiliency. They open your heart and bring calm to stress, which can help both you and your coworkers.
4. Model positive values and emotional intelligence for the people you work with
Use non-defensive communication. Act with patience, openness, awareness, and honesty. Also, use forgiveness, courage, integrity, and empathy. If you do this, it will be much easier to explain and advocate for these attitudes to the clients.
5. Be present with and attend to others’ emotions
If you work with people in crisis, it’s important to help them process grief, anger, and/or shame. This will allow them to move into a less emotional state before they start making decisions. Even if you don't usually work with people in crisis, emotions affect decision-making. Showing compassion can help you recognize when someone can't make an important decision.
Sara Tollefson is a lawyer and past member of the Fetzer Institute’s Law Professions Advisory Council.
